a pencil-thin line

I am not much of a worrier.

That might not be accurate. I should rather say I am not generally anxious about the future. Yes, I analyze all possibilities and all combinations of possibilities into the ground. I do trust the future to the Only One Who Can See It, but I also like to be prepared for anything that it might hold. We can talk about the success of my attempts at preparation another time, okay?

Alright, so I worry. I know that it is a futile endeavor. A waste of energy. Wanting so much to NOT worry, I pray. I choose to trust. I choose to live in faith.

But I am not always firm. I am not always as steadfast as I think I am.

 

I did well today.
my finger lightly traces
the ridge
above my eye
perfectly, pleasingly
absolutely
smooth
as I reflect…
I did not cry today.
I did not
yell.
I did not panic under pressure.
Yes, it was a good day
altogether.
my finger lightly traces
the ridge above
my eye
still warm with the lingering sting
of far
too much attention
as I wonder…
Will I do as well
tomorrow?
And how much time
might be required
for
an eyebrow
to re-grow?

Linked to Open Link Night #79 at dVerse Poets Pub.

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16 Responses to a pencil-thin line

  1. brian miller says:

    ha. i like the bit of humor in the end there…..and it is good to celebrate those good days….little steps lead to saving eye brows…ha…

  2. I love this! The intro is great, the poem is wonderful, and the ending of it is priceless!

  3. Mary says:

    Sometimes a person has to just take it day by day! Your poem is testament to that fact. Take care.

    • jonnia says:

      Day by day, yes. Replacing terrible compulsive behaviors with lesser habits helps, too. I know people who clean when they’re stressed. Now, I wouldn’t complain about that. Thanks for leaving a word for me!

  4. Dick Jones says:

    This is a simple but powerful record of an anxiety faced down. Impressive stuff.

  5. Victoria says:

    This was such a fun read that really resonated with me. When you started out with, “i’m not much of a worrier,” I thought that I wouldn’t be able to identify much with you. Ha! Wry and clever write.

  6. This is quite lovely – I almost feel the touch along my own eyebrow as I read your words. :)

  7. I can feel the anxiety in this. I touch my face when I’m nervous so I definitely understand.

    • jonnia says:

      Nervous habits are tricky to stop, aren’t they? You can’t really get too upset with yourself, or you make it worse. Helps me to poke fun at myself.
      Thanks so much for reading!

  8. Tanya Hall says:

    I saw myself in those words… It was well written and so very true…

  9. amanda ignacio-simons says:

    i have felt the same way multiple times:) well said and clever!

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